Partial Portfolio

WE’RE LOOKING FOR a proofreader for occasional but regular work. But not just any proofer. We’re looking for a dropship war eagle with a lighthouse gaze and an AP style guide tattooed on your DNA. You’d be our last line of fresh-eyed defense against errors in spelling and grammar. Our bulwark against embarrassment. You’re the person whose name we’ll sigh in tones of blissy reverence when we marvel how — but for you, blessed you! — we would have gone to press with “just desserts” instead of “just deserts.” Parse it.

THIS GIG IS intense, windy and requires overnight or same-day turnaround. Radical responsiveness and accessibility are prized. We want to reach for the gear shift and — well, lookie there, there’s your vital consciousness at our momentary command. Could require asset uptake/drop in person or digitally. Helps if you have a fast car and power fantasies about geek intrigue, aesthetic heroism. Could require you to manhandle PDFs. Show those PDFs who’s boss. Yes.

PAY CAN BE by the hour, per mission or per cubic foot of sweet relief we experience at having found you for the gig amid the CL maelstrom of commerce, cant and con. We can talk. Right now, it’s dreamishly brief, deep-dip wetwork that takes place only about once a month, but if you’re the one, you’ll probably grow on us and we’ll expend megajoules of energy to generate excuses to keep you around.

I answered:

I am your diva of documents, master of manuscripts, and princess of prose. I am the Sharpie-wielding maniac that endeavors to correct the transgressions of sign and menu makers far and wide. I am not just the Grammar Police, I am a syntax ninja. In other words, I’m your girl!

I have a fast car, dexterous digits, an agile mind, and a well-trained dog. Yes, I have spent many a night arguing the Oxford comma with beer-swilling malefactors.

I’m a devotee of deadlines. For my favorite clients, I set a special alert on my phone with a particular and awkward broing sound, ensuring immediate attention. PS – I will show you my tattoo upon request.

I got the gig and worked with them for the next 7 years.

Live Articles

Scripts/Video

E-books

(Available on Fiverr)

Full-length books

(Available in hard copy, Kindle, or Nook)

Longer pieces

This essay was nominated for the University of Washington’s IAP writing award

This is a story contracted post for a Christian journal (true story)

This was an interview with a Tanzanian asylum seeker done for a newspaper

Tough writing that is an example of pre-Twitter succinct editing

(for fun) Once upon a time, I found this genius job posting on Craigslist:

We pay you to catch mistaeks. (Las Vegas only)